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20s· About 5 months before it loosened

I hated everyone — it turned out I was just unbearably tired

Sometimes 'I hate everyone' really means 'I'm tired of not being understood.'

Emotional state

Anger, irritation, isolation

What was underneath

Years of feeling unheard at home and work

What it looked like

  • snapping at people
  • wanting everyone to leave me alone
  • constant irritation
  • exhaustion

The darkest moment

A night I pushed away the one friend still texting me, then sat alone convinced everyone had given up.

The first thing that helped

That friend replied anyway: "You don't have to talk. I'll just stay on the line." We said nothing for twenty minutes.

What helped over time

  • Started naming the feeling as 'tired' instead of 'hate'
  • Let one person stay close without performing
  • Short walks when the anger spiked
  • Eventually saw a counselor through work

What did not help

  • Forcing myself to 'be grateful'
  • People telling me to just calm down

How long it took

About 5 months before it loosened

Where they are now

Still get irritable, but I can tell the difference now between hate and exhaustion.

Their path won't be exactly yours, and that's okay. You only need your own next small step.