Anger is often grief or hurt wearing armor.
Emotional state
Rage, frustration
What was underneath
Pain I had no words for, coming out as anger
What it looked like
- short temper
- slamming doors
- regret after outbursts
The darkest moment
Saying something cruel to someone I loved and watching their face fall.
The first thing that helped
Learning that anger was the outer layer; underneath was hurt I'd never let myself feel.
What helped over time
- Paused to ask 'what's under this?' when rage spiked
- Physical outlet — walking, running
- Apologized and rebuilt trust slowly
What did not help
- Bottling it up until it exploded
- Being told to 'just relax'
How long it took
A few months of practice
Where they are now
I still feel anger, but I can usually find the hurt beneath it now.
Their path won't be exactly yours, and that's okay. You only need your own next small step.